One day E will come home from nursery with all the clothes and hair things I sent her in. Last weekend she left a coat and a vest there, this week a jumper. I realise she can’t actually keep track of these things, that she’s too small, but even so – if she’s been changed from her vest by a member of staff, why does that member of staff not then put the dirty vest in her bag to come home?
And if she’s taken her hair clips out (which they say she does all the time and she doesn’t like having her hair up, yet miraculously it stays up quite well when she’s with me on a Monday) then put the damn things back in! Why do we get other ones back? Sub standard ones that I can’t use?
I realise these are small gripes on the scale of things. I also realise that being a nursery worker is probably chaos. Which is why I write her name on things. Plus it’s Easter holidays and there’s only about four children there this week and half of those are larger boys – they weren’t wearing a stripy vest with a sparkly heart on it.
I think they’ve probably put it in someone else’s bag. This makes me cross.
And I can’t eat the vegetables! It’s too much of a challenge. Either I drink a few more portions in fruit form smoothies or I go without. I’m not hungry enough to make a meal or substantial snack in the evenings and there doesn’t appear to be a decent snack of veg that I will eat. Forget it. I’ve made it to my late thirties without scurvy. Even eating salad with everything only adds one extra portion and I need another two-three each day. It’s too much food.
It’s been a crappy day. E bawled for about half an hour this morning. It’s not a good start to the day. She doesn’t want cuddling but she doesn’t want to be put down; she points at the milk I’ve made for her but doesn’t want to drink it when I offer it; she thrashes about when I try to clean her teeth and nearly bashed her head hard on the radiator this morning. I’m trying to stay calm, I’m trying to ignore her, I’m taking out frustration on inanimate objects (this morning my handbag got hurled to the floor) as the alternative if I lose my temper scares me. I hate this. I really have no idea what else to do. And yet when she’s not yelling, (and that’s most of the time) she’s lovely.
I am reading: Finished Kate Atkinson and have just had to start Alice Hoffman’s new book for a review due next week. So far it’s written in italics which is incredibly annoying. But that might also be because I have to read it on a machine and because I’m in a crappy mood.
E is reading: Room on the Broom – Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler. We’ve just got this out of the library – E’s cousin loves it and we’re fond of the Julia Donaldson books we’ve already got so it seemed a good choice. E already loves it – she likes to point out all the things that get dropped and she likes the animals. I am already worrying about what will happen when we take this (and the pea book) back to the library next week…