Parenting classes

In my last blog post, I pontificated about what I would teach if I ran a series of parenting classes. The rules below come from my experience of other parents as well as my own and are in no way comprehensive.

  • Swearing at your child is bad. It’s even worse if you do it loudly in the street.
  • Chocolate is not breakfast.
  • Parent/ child parking bays at the supermarket are for those times when you have to take the child out of the car and thus make it easier for them to safely reach the shop’s warm embrace – they are not for you and the child to sit in while your wife pops in quickly to get a few bits and pieces. (I direct this at men because I’ve never seen a woman do it). They are placed next to the shop and with wide parking spaces for a reason – that reason is child safety not your convenience.
  • The library is not childcare. (Nor is a school for that matter but I haven’t got to that bit yet
  • It’s entirely possible that your child is the one scaring smaller children by doing something innocuous like running through water or splashing a lot at the pool. Try and instil some kind of consideration in them. I realise this is difficult.
  • Only dress them for nursery in something you don’t mind them losing.
  • Taking over the colouring in/ train set building/ block construction kits because you don’t like what they’re doing or how they’re doing it is not very nice and won’t teach them about failure. If you must colour in or build, do it when they’re in bed.
  • Always carry small change, wipes, crayons and a plastic fork and spoon.
  • Remember, it’s just a carpet.

There’s probably a load more but those are all I can think of at the moment.

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