How do you feel?

I’ve been intrigued in the last few weeks about how E has been dealing with things. About how she has communicated those things. When we spend time together we chat away but our topics of conversation are very much reactive to what we’re doing or what we can see and not so much about other, wider things.

A couple of weeks back E had her booster jabs. One in each arm. She was very good, didn’t cry, didn’t wriggle and instead just tensed up a little but let us do them both. Her face while she was deciding if she should cry or not was heartbreaking but she did very well and I gave her a finger of fudge as as treat on the way home (at 8am – I got some dirty looks from passers by.)

She didn’t talk about this but she has recently started re-enacting the jabs with me, rolling my sleeves up and pressing into my arm, asking “Does it hurt? Are you brave? Well done Mummy.” So clearly she’s thinking about it still. The same with an incident at nursery last week where a boy scratched her. Again, she was brave and didn’t cry but she has asked about the boy and if he will be there again. She has examined her scratch again and again, touching it to see what’s going on. She is like me in that respect, a quick outburst and then lots of stewing.

You may remember a few weeks back I blogged about a change in our bedtime habits – how she likes to sit in the dark holding hands for a while before we leave her. This is still going on and I’ve found it’s a tie where we’ve started to have little chats. So far these have been about innocuous things – “Shay had a little minion and I had a big minion and Shay said…” and so on. But these are details I haven’t heard before and they’re things from her world, the world of nursery. Sharing with me lets me know what she’s done but also gives me the chance to listen to her worries if she wants to talk about those. Everything she details to me I make a comment on, to show her I’m listening, and so if she does want to talk about concerns, hopefully she will be able to come to me.

Perhaps this is early. But if I establish these things now, if things become more serious for her – stress, school, homework, friends – she won’t think twice about bringing them to me. And these few moments are precious.

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